Free Sample
Parenting Through Transitions
A practical, evidence-informed system for helping your child navigate life's big changes - from moving and divorce to school transitions and adolescence - without losing your mind or your relationship with them
by Alumigogo Books
Chapter 1: Why Most Approaches Fail — and What Actually Works
Every parent knows the script. When a child faces a big change - a divorce, a move, a new school, a parent's new job, the loss of a grandparent - well-meaning friends, family members, and even pediatricians offer the same set of reassurances. "Kids are resilient." "Just give it time." "Stay positive and they'll follow your lead." "Keep a routine and they'll be fine."
Here is the uncomfortable truth that most of these advisors do not tell you: those platitudes are not just useless. They can make things actively worse.
If you are reading this, you have likely discovered this the hard way. You stayed positive. You kept the routine. You gave it time. And then you watched your normally outgoing seven-year-old become a tantrum machine at school drop-off. You saw your previously communicative teenager stop talking entirely and retreat to a screen. You blamed yourself, and then you blamed your child's temperament, and then you blamed the transition itself.
This blame is misplaced. The fault lies in the advice you received. The common wisdom treats a transition as if it is a single event to be survived, and the child as a passive recipient of your emotional support. It asks you to do one thing - "be there" - during a process that actually demands about a dozen distinct things at specific times.
The first concept you must internalize is the Phase-Based Principle: a transition is not